nannafee

::On Motherhood:: 08.11.2006
I’ll start by saying that I have the most gorgeous daughter ever born. A cliché, yes, but she has milky white flawless skin, rosebud lips and eyes as beautifully blue as her fathers. She is content in a room full of people with music playing loudly, she also loves her bedtime and silence. People comment on how happy she is. And, well, she is.
And my favourite without comparison moment in each 24 hour period is the one in which I go into her room of a morning to get her out of bed. The smile she gives me when I enter her line of vision is one of pure joy. She doesn’t care if I have bedhead and look a little haggard, I’m her mum and she is STOKED to see me. Make that Super Stoked. No one has ever looked at me that way. (ok, except her dad at an airport in San Francisco a few years back)
But sometimes you have One of Those Days. Where the sheer mundane reality of being a full-time mum sets in and is only aggravated by your innocent child’s decision to make that very same day the one on which she decides to experiment with grunting, loudly, all day, unless she is a asleep or has a bottle in her mouth. Grunting so loudly you can’t hear the record playing.
It may sound endearing or cute, but you just try recording a grunting sound, and play it looped for 12 hours straight. See if you don’t hit the red wine at sunset.
Being a mum is also one of the loneliest times I have ever had in my life. A few friends have had babies in the last week so no doubt this is set to change once they’re past the first month or two and are ready to re-emerge from their homes. But my goodness, days can be long when everyone is at work.
All of “The Books” tell you that you need to let go of things like having a tidy house and the washing done when you’re a new mum as it’s too exhausting. My house is spotless. The washing is always done. I need to be occupied. I am used to being busy.
It’s also hard not being financially independent. I’ve had my own income since I was a 15 year old at McDonalds. I only made for my first shift, but it was mine. It’s not like I don’t have access to ‘our’ money, or feel in any way that I am not allowed to spend it, but I’m not contributing finically to us so don’t feel comfortable spending on anything other than valid necessities.
I also worry unnecessarily that I’m not doing enough on a daily basis for my four month old daughter’s cognitive, physical and emotional development. I mean, this is an entire human being we’re talking about - she needs to be balanced if she’s going to make a meaningful contribution to the world. In an average ay we sing and read - we’re up to chapter five of Charlottes Web (I figure she needs to read the book before seeing the film). We also read picture books. She watches me cook and explain each ingredient to her. I move her from the play gym with toys hanging above her (toys that get changed regularly so she doesn’t get bored) to the playmat where she can roll around. We go out for a walk at least once each day.
Now I’m not going to end this rant on some naff philosophical earth-mother point. I’m not going to take back what I have written. It’s bloody hard. Hard to stay perky and fun for your child when you really just want a nap or to, surprise surprise, go work for the day and talk to ADULTS.
If one more person says how great it must be to be at home all day I’ll kick them. Like I said, I love my daughter, she’s amazing, but sometimes you have a day like today.

:: Required Reading :: 20.03.2006
I'll have to acquire the following list of books for Ned Must Have Classics.

:: Food :: 02.02.2006
A friend came over for dinner last night so we decided to make a Moroccan “thing”. Ingredients were bought and I assumed I had my regular stash of Herbies spices. These things often come to the rescue when one wants to appear gourmet but can’t be arsed trying (ie. has been at work all day).
So when I got home and discovered my rasel el hanout had run out I was in a bit of a panic. A quick google later and I had a rough spice mix to concoct. One jar of required spice found at the back of the spice shelf had an expiration of 2004 but I figured I’d give them a go. Herbie would have been appalled.
So into the onion, garlic and oil I chucked in a mixture of nutmeg (freshly ground), cumin, cinnamon sticks, ground ginger, smokey paprika, ground coriander, salt and pepper, oh and a few chilli flakes. Then added big tin of tomatoes and some chickpeas (oops just realised I forgot to use the spinach…) and it was damn fine.
Also made some roast eggplant, harissa saucy stuff and minted yoghurt. And cous cous with toasted pine nuts.
It was all so good.
So am cooking a bit more again, in spite of having to have breaks as I get overwhelmed by the smell. It’s also good to have my appetite back.
Still don’t know where to live.
Finally going to got to Fratelli Fresh on the weekend with my folks. Feel like a loser for having not been there. It’s appalling really considering how much I love food and cooking. Then maybe we’ll go to The Book Kitchen for lunch. Yet another place I STILL haven’t been. Should be good. Will have to have restraint with the spending!

:: More Ned:: 26.01.2006
Miss B! Hello. You'll be here soon-ish, yeah? It will be good to see you. I feel a reunion at the Leagues Club 'cheap drinks lounge' followed by too much Cure at the Factory is in order. Wonder if Kelly still goes there?? Does anyone else remember that time some some poor lass (wearing multiple layers of regulation black nylon, naturally) came out of the girls toilets with toilet paper trailing behind her and Kelly lit it? Small venue, lots of black nylon, fire. Not an ideal combo. Especially not when mixed with teenagers drunk on jugs of Illusions.

So anyway, back to 2006. I was just watching the news and an ad for childcare came on and I realised I was paying attention! Scary. A girl at work was telling me that apparently we already need to enrol Ned if we want to get him into a good daycare. Geeze.
In other news, I made the switch today to the regular section of RPA Women and Babies. I realised that for Joel and I it would be a better option. Yeah of course I DON’T want to be drugged to the eyeballs, but I don’t want to be transferred if something goes crazy or left alone with only Joel and I to rely on.
I know it’s been perfect for many of my mates, but the combination of our personalities and gut feeling have made me change my mind.
And, I’ve heard a few first hand horror stories of late. Mind you, after the congratulations part, a birth horror story is often the first thing you hear from people but one that involved a local birth centre and a far too long labour without adequate supervision that resulted in nerve damage and a COLOSTOMY bag needing to be used for a YEAR, and another story (a girl I work with) who was left for THREE days in labour in a birth centre until it was finally realised that her womb was fused shut and there was no way the poor little thing could get out. She had to be moved and then wait for a caesarean. She’d been staunchly birth centre, but now says there’s no way she’d go back.
So this and Joel wanting to participate but not wanting to be Head Birth Instructor has made me realise that I can go to regular birthing ward, still go to my hypnobirthing to-hell-with-drugs “I was made to do this” approach, but if I reach a point where I can’t cope, if I want someone who has done it many times before around the whole time, well it’s an option.
Ultimately you can’t predict these things, so I’m hedging bets both ways.
Still can’t decide where to live.
Ok, no more procrastinating. It’s a public holiday but I have work to do!!

:: WOW :: 23.01.2006
I only posted that a few days ago and I have responses!! I know what you mean Erin, I didn’t think anyone was reading this!! And Tash, yep cravings are weird. Your ‘pink’ cravings are definitely weird. I stopped on the way to work to buy 1kg plain yogurt and had eaten a third before lunchtime. Ahh well.
OK KIDS. Need some advice. Am currently having a Birth Centre vs. RPA regular birthing ward quandary. Want to do the whole natural birth thing but am also thinking, “why not have options? If it gets too much or there are complications, there’s no transferring wards if I am already there etc etc”. And a few people have said to me that they DID go to a Birth Centre and were left waaay too long without any attention other then their partner and it got a bit tricky. So I don’t know.
ALSO, there is the question of where to live. You see, we’re currently residing in Newtown with Joel’s brother and his girlfriend. So yep, need to move (some people have asked why we don’t stay share housing with a newborn. Um, huh???). So we’re looking at rentals around where we live but you can’t get much for our top price of 0pw – I’m talking a flat in Dulwich Hill or if you’re lucky a semi in Leichhardt. (The plan this year was to save for a deposit but Ned has snuck in so we’ll be renting for a while longer).
But, without any suggestions from me, Joel emailed me a link to a super cute place for 0pw in MATCHAM. Raising the possibility of a return to the Coast. For 0 we could get a big yard (so can keep August the dog), TREES, outdoor space, beaches, family, friends blah blag. We timed the trip from Erina/Matcham to Foxtel in Nth Ryde (where Joel does a lot of work) and it was 45 minutes. Add 15 for crappy traffic and it’s still not that bad. At all.
But it would mean commuting to Nth Sydney for the last month or two before I stop working. And then when I start work again it’d mean commuting again. A lot of people commute, I know.
Also, it’s not like we’ll have tonns of spare cash, so evenings and weekends are going to be more about Ned and visiting people, picnics and going to the beach. So we don’t need to be near bloody King St in Newtown for the Dendy and Eat Me Sushi and Pentimento. And I’ll hardly be going to the Hoey to see bands every other week. (not like I do that every often anymore anyway)
I really don’t know…

:: Big News:: 20.01.2006
It’s been a long while, and to be honest I really don’t feel like I need to write here anymore, but I figured I would like to start again, as a sort of diary. Because I am now 13 and a bit weeks pregnant. Not exactly planned but not unwanted.
His name is Ned even though we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl. But Ned is a damn fine name so Ned it is. Better that ‘it’.
The last few months have dragged on, with a permanent feeling of hangover mixed with the flu making me impossible to get along with, or get a smile out of. I feel sorry for Joel.
I knew that having a baby would change things, that my social life would be altered dramatically, what I didn’t realise is that this comes into effect as soon as you find out you’re pregnant. There’s no more drinking, no more ‘got nothing to do so let’s go to the pub’. Going to the pub is dead boring when you’re drinking mineral water with cranberry juice. And everyone else is having beer or wine number five and finding everything hilarious and you just can’t see what’s funny. And quite frankly it’s 9pm and you’re really tired!!
And when you find out you’ll be living off one income in the near future there’s no buying tops for the fun of it or eating out as much. It’s all about paying off debts (done that) and saving (started that).
At this point I may sound totally down in the dumps about it. I’m not, I can’t wait to meet the little person and I know it’ll be the one the best things I ever do, it’s just that adjusting is a bit of a shock.
Only days before finding out Ned existed I had been telling friends that I was bored of everything being about me, and that I would be more than happy to have a kid because 10 or more years of me me me was becoming VERY repetitive. So I can’t really complain.
The day we found out we got food poisoning. It was meant to be a healthy meal of tuna and vegies but the tuna was riddled with scombroid and within an hour of eating we were at the RPA Emergency with me panicking about the poor little person I had only hours before found out was living in my belly. Scombroid gives you a splitting headache and well, you have to run to the bathroom to either throw up or… you know, repeatedly. Not nice. Doctors assured me Ned wouldn’t be affected, so fingers crossed.
I’ve been craving yoghurt (specifically Bornhoffen plain yoghurt) and my homemade spinach soup. At first it was avocado and lemons. In fact, I could go some lemon juice right now. Eating a whole hot meal is daunting and I’d always prefer ice cream or yoghurt.
Yesterday I had to go to Melbourne for the day for work. The plane down made me feel sick for about an hour after landing. But the plane ride home made me throw up! I actually had to use one of those bags, and more than once. The flight was full, to make tings even more embarrassing. Once we’d landed I explained to the two guys sitting next to me what was wrong. As soon as you say “I’m pregnant” people get all keen and happy and both guys said “oh when my wife was pregnant she was soo sick! When are you due? Is it your first? Oh it’s a great thing”. So you’re immediately forgiven for being so frightfully anti-social.
So right now I feel tired, grumpy, nauseous and wish I could have a glass of red wine or stay awake past 10pm. I’m sure some sort of maternal instinct and blissful joy will kick in at some stage. Right now I just want to feel normal again!!!!

:: Don't know what to write :: 14.10.2005
Ok, an update. Let’s see…. Have been a totally cranky cow of late because I’m really busy at work doing parties and stuff for companies and well, there just aren’t enough production folk here. So after a few tanties in the workplace, and one bout of tears about which I am most embarrassed, (but what’s a girl to do when she is tired and has a face full of spots and no-one to help bind the damn on site prodn books). So now I have a helper who starts on Monday so am much happier.
Hmm, what else. Geeze. Can’t think straight. Just glad it’s the weekend and for once I’m not working or being stressed. Just going to sleep in and then read the paper and go present shopping then go out for dinner to a cute little Moroccan place where they scatter rose petals on your table when you arrive (I’m a sucker for that stuff). And now that the Boy is freelancing and has an office of his own in Surry Hills his stuff is there and I now have the room beside ours for my paint and sewing and stuff so hopefully will spend some time doing this again. It’s been too long. So I guess this will be my Saturday afternoon. You know, arranging and re-arranging my space.
Then on Sunday I’ll have my best mate over for breakfast. Not sure what I’ll make. Maybe I’ll attempt to make velvet eggs like Scrambled on Enmore Rd. Damn they’re good. Then she’ll draw pictures and I’ll write a marketing plan for the Boy’s film funding application (which he had better well get approval on, if not it’ll go to prove that everything in the world is out of whack and just plain wrong). So yeah. That’s it really. Oh and we’re going camping next Thursday to Sunday at some place in the Blue Mtns. Can’t wait to get out of Sydney for a few days.

:: Baggage :: 03.09.2005
Weeks and months go by and you’re happy. Really happy. Wouldn’t-change-a-thing happy.
And you haven’t thought about ‘that stuff’ in ages.
Then you spend a night catching up with someone you knew years ago. And she turns the conversation back, time and again, to her recent break up. And she wants to know what it was like when it happened to you. So you recount the tale, in a bullet points, with a sense of awkwardness and a feeling that the story you’re telling has become no more than empty words that echo meaninglessly.
But as a tear falls down her cheek your gut twists and you feel like throwing up. Because no matter how many days pass you know exactly how she feels. That absolute, every damn cell sickness that you can’t shake.
You don’t mean any disrespect to someone new when the volume of your voice increases, your cheeks flush pink and you tell her to be angry, to cry, that it’s ok. And you try to convince her that one day she will realise that she hasn’t cried for a few days. She’ll catch herself laughing genuinely. She’ll kiss a cute boy. And, the best part, she’ll fall in love again.
And no, it won’t ever be the same. No it won’t ever feel so simple and straightforward and innocent. It’ll be harder. Trusting someone won’t be so easy. You’ll instinctively protect yourself.
But nor will you aimlessly float through your days not aware of how you feel. You’ll ache more but you’ll also be more your real self than ever before.

:: contacts :: 02.09.2005
Some weeks ago, I lost my mobile phone. Quite distressing as it means I have lost what is often the only contact details I have for some friends. And I get mysterious text messages from people asking if I am "keen for some bevs tonight?" but i have no idea who it is. (turns out it wasn't a secret admirer it was Guy-Simon, not that i'm complaining!)
So, point being, if you are reading this and I know you, can you please sign my guestbook and include your phone number? Use an alais that I will know if you don't want to reveal who you are. Kilder, for example, long time no chat!! what's your home number? I'd love to come visit you and the family and for you to meet not-so-new-anymore Joel. And Loz, your number, too!!!
In other news I got promoted. I get to call myself a Producer now. Whatever that means. They also pay me more (without me having to ask) but I guess the trade off is that they own me more. Something already clearly reflected in the number of hours I work and the fact that today, a day in lieu, i have received two work-related phone calls. But I still maintain that I love it. I really do. Because essentially what I do is make-believe and fun stuff and parties and music and food and wine.
But now it is time to go to the local pub for a Friday arvo beer with the Boy. And then meet a girl for dinner who we worked with back in '99 at MTV. Nice.

:: yeah i know, i'm hopeless with the updates: 02.08.2005
It’s really hard coming home after being away. Back to an office, a computer, death-by-paperwork and MYOB. Back to grocery shopping, Monday night TV, a messy bedroom floor, an open suitcase you still haven’t properly unpacked.
Back to morning trains and ice block hands.
No more prickly humid heat or floating alone in a pool to soothe your sunburnt skin. No more running like your life depends on buying that one roll of red tape to mark arrows on the ground so the drag queens on stilts don’t lose their way backstage. No screaming at the printer to make it go faster, dammit.
No longer one of the boys. No empty bottles of Chivas Regal sneakily put into your bag when you’re not watching. No stifling your embarrassed laughter when the local girls lurking in the bar (with the sharks in tanks) are asked, “Yes, you’re working here, but what TYPE of work do you do?”.
No more letting a drunk and excessively chivalrous co-worker carry your heavy bag (containing the petty cash, your passport and mobile phone) that he promptly puts down and forgets where he put it. Then having to go on a 6am Sunday search, without having had any sleep since Friday.
But on the up side, no more time spent holidaying with a girl who is as thin as a chopstick yet incessantly complains about her irregular tan lines, putting on weight and tells you that you shouldn’t eat a MINI croissant because of “all those calories”

:: stupid car :: 8.06.2005
Ok, Bee! I give in. Here's an entry :)

After spending all of Tuesday and Wednesday in bed with the most hideous flu ever, and going mad from daytime tv overload (ahh, NO MORE OPRAH!), I really needed to go into my super-hectic office and get some work done. So I drove to work on Thursday but only stayed a few hours. Was too sick, coughing and spluttering away, so sent home. I went to get my car out of the carpark – where they have those earlybird parking specials - you know in before 10am out between 3 and 6.30pm for . But I was told that if I wanted to leave at 2.15 it would cost me !! So I had to wait 45 minutes. Hideous. I mean, the place has half empty, what difference would it make. The guy was just sitting there doing nothing. It’s not like cars had to be re-shuffled to get mine out. Naturally I yelled at the car park attendant, in spite of the fact that he didn’t make up the stupid rules. And didn’t care if I was sick and “just wanted to go home!!!”. So I was forced to have a nap on the back seat of the Astra. Not all that comfy but better than paying for 4 hours parking.
Then on Friday morning Joel was going to Lindfield to play with a muppet, so I thought I’d bum a ride. Avoid the train and all as I still felt pretty average. As we were just about on the Harbour bridge, without any warning, the car stopped. Middle lane. 9am on a Friday. So we called the NRMA, who assured us that the RTA have cameras monitoring the bridge and were most likely already on their way with a tow truck.
So we sit there, wishing the tinting on the windows was darker, and wait. The guys turn up and tow us off. Then we wait for the NRMA. And wait. I become jealous of the fact that I’d refused a Campos coffee only fifteen minutes earlier and Joel has a large cup on this rather cold morning. NRMA show up. Looks like fuel pump not working. Need a tow truck. Joel anxious about muppet and crew waiting for him so gets taxi to Lindfield. I wait with car. Tow truck finally arrives with young lad driver who proceeds to give me weird smiles, crack nervous jokes and ask me what shampoo I use because my hair smells nice. Back off dude.
Get to boyfriend’s brother-in-law’s car repair place, leave stupid car behind and drive courtesy car to work. Arrive 12.30. Can only find 1 hour parking spots as have missed earlybird parking 10am cut-off so spend rest of day moving car to avoid . Stupid rules.

:: language :: 27.04.2005
Sometimes you forget that people outside your home and/or group of friends don’t speak the same language as you. For example, it is likely that you will be met with a slight look of confusion upon telling a co-worker that you were “awake at the butt crack (of dawn)” or, when asked how you are today, reply “yeeeah, not too shabby”.
At least the (poor) guy who sits next to me now understands that “scorpz” means “indoor soccer” and “slab of fu for dins” means “last night for dinner we had tofu that had been marinated in soy sauce, chilli, ginger & garlic and then fried in sesame oil”.
Luckily I haven’t called anyone “you low-ey”. Yet.

:: oh i don't know :: 27.03.2005
and that's the problem. There is NO PROBLEM. I paint when I want to paint. When I feel like there is a combination of colours that I need to hang on my wall. When I have an idea for a skirt I make it and wear it and love it when people compliment me what I have made.
I love my new day job, like, LOVE it. I spend my days talking about over-the-top themeing concepts for parties and gala dinners and then make them happen. "Yes, I agree, metres and metres of silver organza draping would sotfen the somewhat dramatic marble pillars of this room". Heck I even like doing the budgets!!!
But sometimes I feel as though I need to aim higher or be more than I am. Sometimes I feel as though I don't DO anything and am still waiting for life to start. Perhaps I should be making some bleeding heart doco about an injustice in the world. Have A Project. But right now, there isn't a story I feel compelled to tell. Ok, maybe I could go back to the first entry on here, and make it into a book about a co-dependant self obsessed nutter who changes jobs too often. And should stop cutting her own hair. But really, who cares??Yes there are weeks when days blur into the next and the closest you've come to being creative (apart from at work) is a few rows of knitting. When the routine of getting up, going to work, coming home, staring at a TV screen or dinner bubbling on the stove and then falling to sleep much earlier then you used to, takes over.
And yes, there are Friday nights when you're tired and emotional and just wish that history never happened and you could just be you and not care anymore. You wish you could take words back and weren't so damn self-obsessed (she says, writing about herself on her weblog). But on those gloomy Friday nights, quite unexpectedly, two of your best friends who have known you since you were a young girl walk through the door and make you laugh because one of them is wearing a goddam motorbike helmet in your kitchen. And you remember that really there's no need to let life be that complicated.

:: Feeling frumpy :: last week sometime
Ok ok so I’m not fat. But I’m certainly not skinny or super fit. Now, this isn’t going to turn into some faux self loathing rant in an attempt to receive compliments. No no. Committing myself to an office all day again has totally stuffed up the swimming regime the Boy and I had going during my two month pursuit of craftiness (a.k.a. the break I had to have). I reckon that during that time we had a 95% attendance record and I was loving it. It was all part of The Plan. And The Plan was working.
(grr keep having to stop writing thereby interrupting my flow of thoughts to scratch. I think there is a damn flea inside my pyjamas and it’s bitten my ankle and now just above my knee. Another reason why summer is hideous!! but that is another entry in itself.)
I now get up at 6.30am, catch the 7.50 train to be in the office by 8.30. This is a stretch. I’m not a morning person so don’t even suggest getting up at 6. I refuse. So the only option is to swim on my way home. Then I have the “I’m NOT carrying my togs, KICK BOARD and towel to work and back every day” argument/excuse. Ahh I dunno.
On the upside we’re moving to a new office block in a few months that has a gym on the ground floor that is free, yes FREE to us little worker bees on the floors above.
But in the meantime I’m reminded on a daily basis that I need to be moving my arse, and the rest of me, more than just going to the printer and back. The lighting in the lifts at my new work is terrible. All lit from above, so every little dimple on my arms is accentuated. Their tuckshop lady appearance (a.k.a Lamington Lady Arms, a.k.a My Lamingtons) there for all of my co-workers to see.
I definitely think that you wake up the morning of your 30th look at your self in the mirror (yes, naked) and everything has migrated south. It’s like, “since when was there a CREASE there?” Thank the good Lord I have small boobs! Otherwise they’d be at my belly button by now.
So The Plan is out the window. I’ve eaten cheese in the last 24 hours, had a shandy and done NO exercise. The exact opposite of what was decreed on New Year’s Day.
I guess it’s about self-control of which I generally have none. For example, we had a healthy dinner (corn on the cob, steamed spinach and slabs of ‘fu). And then two fruits with cinnamon and low-fat honey yoghurt. And then cups of tea with low fat milk… and then some Family Assorteds. Oops.

:: dirty great piker :: 25.02.2005
It may seem incongruous that I, only a few entries ago, was getting all excited about quitting the day job lifestyle to pursue craftiness full-time and in my last entry announced a new job. Well, you see, it’s JUST PLAIN BORING being as social a creature as I, to spend day after day alone, trying to be inspired and ‘make stuff’. Yes, for some, being a hermit is idyllic. But not for me.
One problem is that it gives me too much time to think. And think. Talk to the dog once too often. Over-analyse life and feel slightly bonkers by the end of a hot, sticky summers day with NO AIR-CON leaving me no choice but to accost the Boy when he walks through the door and JUST WANTS SOME TIME ALONE. And buying material, paint etc etc feels rather indulgent when you're not yet contributing financially to the bank balance from the craft venture. You see - making stuff is all well and good but I don’t like making ten of the same thing for retail purposes. It just doesn’t seem right to me. I want each thing I make to be unique, one off and beautiful. I don’t feel that what I have made in bulk of late has been any of that. Except the things I have made ‘in between’ for myself to wear or hang on a wall.
So where does this leave me? With a new day job I am really excited about. Because, (and this true because I never exaggerate, no not me) in Year 10 when you have to do work experience and talk about a desired career path I wanted a job where you organise parties. “Can you do that?” I asked the exasperated teacher who didn’t have a nice A4 Parties flyer she could hand me from musty Careers Room shelves. (remember those, they were different colours depending on the ‘career’ with the circles within circles naming the types of jobs that would fall under that category? I think I ended up with the purple Media one, so I guess that was appropriate). Mind you, I somehow spent my work experience week at a Special School with very special kids. And I’m not being sarcastic. They were. But??
I guess the teacher must have wanted to get my precocious arse out of her way by narrowing my ideal career to ‘working with people’ and figured this would do. (This has always baffled me, don’t most jobs involve ‘working with people’ and often ‘really annoying people who have B.O. issues but still insist on wearing artificial fibres all year round and standing at the end of your desk whining’ ??).
Right that’s it! The sun is coming through the window and heating up my craft room. I gotta get out of this damn house. I’m calling Miss L who I believe has today off. Think we’re going to go here and they maybe here as she’s keen to make a bag. See craftiness never dies, it just becomes a passion again rather than feeling like an obligation.

:: I guess turning 30 next week won’t be so bad after all :: 21.02.2005
I just got a job as the production manager for a big events company. Sooo stoked. Now to avoid being dooced I will not be writing about work on here. (yes I am a complete nerd who still reads blogs every day but heck you can lots of good ideas from them.) All I can say is that I’m super chuffed as this is what I have always wanted to do and the part of my previous jobs that I have founds the most interesting, and well obvious. After all, I am the sort of girl who has an excel spreadsheet RSVP list for her b’day and who also bought 5 metres of calico to make a tablecloth that would contrast nicely with the chocolate brown linen serviettes for last New Year’s Eve’s seafood extravaganza dinner at our place. Ok, so this will be a little more complex/stressful than that, but you get what I’m saying…
The thing with applying for jobs, especially when you don’t have one at all, is that you find yourself applying for a whole bunch at once. When you get the call to say you have landed the one you wanted you then berate yourself with “Why why why did I spend all of Thursday and then Friday morning applying for another job that required complex responses to selection criteria and for me to discuss EEO, Ethical Practice, Ethnic Affairs Priorities Statements and OH&S???”. I mean please.
And furthermore, doing this useless application almost made us late to my Nan Clev’s funeral. Yeah, my Nan died last week. She was 92, so it was not shocking, but very sad nonetheless. Mind you, we all had one of those very rare occurrences when we got to say good-bye. She was taken to hospital the week before last and we all went to see her, have a chat, tell her we loved her. And then go have a good old cry because you knew you’d probably never see her again. My Nan was very funny. Thought farting was totally hilarious (must be where my dad and brother get it from). My uncle told a story at her funeral about how when he was ‘courting’ my aunty he was due to have dinner at their place. My Nan made a pie but forgot about it and the top was completely burnt. Apparently scraping its blackened crust wasn’t enough to completely rid it of the charring, so she got out the vacuum cleaner to do the job properly. Makes perfect sense to me. So thanks, Nan. Thanks for my odd sense of humour and ability to see the funny side of life when I'm sad and to make people smile.

:: water :: 09.02.2005
In the water each day I float. Do a lap. Stop in the deep end. Float. Exhale and begin to sink. Gently, calmly. My lips touch the water. Then my nose. No air can get in. For a moment all is still. Silent. My legs drift from under me towards the surface. There’s no one. Just me and the cool water. No anger, no chatter, just stillness. Remember it. Feel it. Take it with you when you leave.
I kick off. Back to the shallow end. At halfway I’m angry again. The muscle in my left leg cramps. I stretch my foot. Wriggle my toes. It won’t go away.

:: Ick, the scary stuff inside my head is leaking:: 31.01.2005
When things explode most people instinctively go into survival mode. You know, that "yeah I'm ok, heck, I'm still me, I’ve still got this and that, the world hasn't ended for heaven's sake, blah blah blah" rhetoric. Alternatively, I guess, you can crumble and frankly that's not my style.
But some time on, when surely, finally, because dammit I’d hope everyone's as bored and over the whole silly thing as I am, it bites you on your peachy arse. Right in the middle of being "YES I'M FINE" you find yourself being all stupidly, unnecessarily insecure and not knowing who the hell you are anymore. And no, it’s not about not wanting your old life back. But rather, exhibiting behaviours that are, quite frankly, rather unbecoming. And you wonder when that started. So you attempt to drown out the chatter inside your head with a self-affirming Oprah-esque mantra. Something along the lines of “You have to make YOU happy, that’s the most important thing. What do YOU reallywant to do with your life?”. Scary stuff. Which brings me to an even bigger question – does anyone really ever know? We all want to be happy, creative, fully self-actualised human beings, but does anyone wake up every morning with a 20 year plan and jump out of bed with that day's “to do” list that will help them get there? And then, the hardest part, actually DO it? Because if you do, can you tell me how to do that?

:: I did it :: 14.12.2004
I just officially gave up full time work to persue craft and have a well earned break. Oh my goodness. I am so excited/scared/relieved
Think i need a cup of tea and a good lie down. And a lot of Bex...

:: pressing pause :: 10.12.2004
I usually find quotes totally cheesy and naff. But I got an email at work today, and in the auto-signature were these two quotes that make so much sense to me right now:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do." -- Mark Twain
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." -- Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Deciding to not rush into my next job (whatever it may be) is very scary. Making myself take time out to stop, take a good hard look at who I am and what I am doing with my life, in an effort to stop floating along, isn't easy. On the surface, avoiding full-time office work for a while may seem an easy option, but choosing to temporarily make my motivation to get out of bed every morning a totally personal one, is terrifying me. It's not so much about the lack of money, as having absolutely no exuse not to put creativity first. I simply want to feel as though I've done something worthwhile every day. And dammit, I want my next job to last longer than a six month contract that may or may not be renewed depending on demand...

:: and it's only been 36 hours :: 22.11.2004
When you clutter your days with trivial tasks you can block out the sound of your heart missing him. But on a cold grey Monday morning, eating toast alone, the noise is deafening.

:: oh yeah and... :: 17.11.2004
I got contact lenses about a year ago because I was sick of wearing glasses all the time. And cos I wanted to look heaps preeeety. But I don't think it's working because the air-con at work dries my eyes out and I'm constantly twitching and blinking and look like i've got tourettes or something.

:: microwave dinners :: 17.11.2004
So we’re trying to be good kids and save money. It may be used for a possible interstate move to re-visit student life (read: poverty) and a struggling artist life that has been totally romanticised. No doubt the reality will slap us in the face when we’re dining on 2 minute noodles with sweet chilli sauce for the third night running. Or perhaps the funds will go towards my 30th b’day super treat of a holiday to Fingal Bay (don’t ask). And there’s always my end-of-contract that’s looming.
This inevitably means work lunches consisting of unidentifiable goop that you found lurking in the back of the freezer, defrosted at lunchtime, but find too dull to bear. I mean I tried, I really did. Added salt and pepper. Made sure it was really hot. But I just couldn’t do it. Luckily I was able to bum a few rivatas from the boss that I smothered with vegemite and someone else’s butter (apologies to co-worker who owns it). This also saved a trip to the junk food machine for a pack of pretzels (cos, like, they’re not as bad as potato chips for lunch).

Someone should write a cook book of food that you can make for dinner, that can be divvied up as work lunches that when re-heated doesn’t resemble food they serve to old folk at leisure living centres whose taste buds probably stopped working years ago anyway.

:: Huh? :: 11.10.2004

So if I don’t know anyone who votes for them how the hell did they get back in? I am simply baffled that people vote for a smug, out of touch old man, who blatantly lies to them, goes to war based on these lies, is racist, is homophobic, locks up children in detention centres, who pulls apart medicare, who makes going to uni even more unaffordable for the average punter (I still have a hecs debt and I finished uni in 1996, imagine if I was there now…). I just don’t understand. Why are people so self-serving? Why is it all about interest rates and everyone’s own backyard and not about caring for their neighbour?

It’s all based on fear and lies, and well, I’m disappointed.

Summing it up far more eloquently than I: fridaysixpm

:: can i go home now? :: 05.10.2004

And so you have a long weekend and you expect to feel all sunny and refreshed and happy and alert but quite frankly you just feel tired and sleepy and jittery from strong morning coffee. And you wish Newcastle was only an hour away, not two-and-a-half, so that the drive there and back wasn’t so damn boring. And you wish you could sleep till midday like you used to rather than waking at 5.30am with your overactive mind chattering away in your head full throttle.

And you get to work and wonder who decided that it was a good idea to sit in an office nine hours a day, five days a week, when outside it is glorious and warm and you know that if you were out there perhaps you’d feel a little more positive about life.

And you wonder what you’ll do when your current job ends in a little over two months.

And you realise you've been a total slack-arse and still haven't called your super-sweet brother to wish him a happy birthday.

:: hmm, yeah :: 20.09.2004
So I said I'd start doing this again didn't I? And it's been over a month since my last entry. HOPELESS! Now I am sitting here, at my work desk, under fluro lights (whilst having bad hair day) wracking my brain for something amazing and earth shattering to impart. There are there factual details: new car joint purchased, too many weddings to attend in next few weeks, still haven't bought a dress to wear to any of them, nor gifts to give and so on. There are moral/social dilemmas: with new boy (well, actually it's been ages, so not-so-new, let's call him J, shall we?) being vegetarian, does this make me a vegetarian? Initially it was a case of morally no, but in a practical sense yes. I love cooking sooo much and there's nothing cooler than making tasty treats for someone you adore - so I began to skip most of the pages in my cookbooks. And had a fabulous excuse to buy new cookbooks. (that said I'd argue that J is a much better cook than me anyway, so I should stay out of the kitchen more often these days). So, to get back to dilemma, last week at the Courty with Miss I and her fella, I ordered and ate roast pork on a whim which was the first time I had bought and eaten meat since February. I didn't think it would bother me. But why did I then go to bed with pictures of cute little piggies in my head and feeling nauseous? Why, did I feel so horrid and nasty later that evening and vow never to eat it again? Now I made divide my pals to discuss this, as I know it's a sensitive issue and people get cranky when you tell them you "don't really eat meat anymore". But it's not like you've said you're going to start voting Liberal or something...

:: currently experiencing technical difficulties :: 09.08.2004
Having decided to resume nannafee ramblings, I am now faced with a rather frustrating situation – a workplace cache thingie that doesn’t show/update changes to this blog for a number of days. I’ve deleted my history (ahh if only we could do this in real life), mucked around various settings in my preferences, restarted explorer and/or computer to no avail.
Some may argue that I shouldn’t be updating my blog at work, but I do find sitting down at a computer of an evening, after being stuck in front of one all day, a little dull. And a little creative respite in between logging participant release forms for episode after episode of the show I work on is much needed.

In more important news, on a recent trip to my favourite café, I discovered that not all boys are baffled by the friand. I had been lead to believe that the friand caused no end of trauma to males as they could not see why something that same size as a muffin should cost the same amount. No amount of ‘it’s about the almond meal’ could sway held opinion. Am most relieved.

And further proof that an exercise regime ruins your social life: in an attempt to curb my ever-expanding butt and waistline (that I believe has a direct relationship to my very blissful, new relationship with a boy who also firmly believes in the joys of cooking whilst consuming too much wine), I have enrolled in yoga with Miss P. This will be my first exercise in about 2 years. First class is on August 18 at 7pm. So is a screening of new Australian film, SOMERSAULT by Cate Shortland at Popcorn Taxi and a premier screening Jim Jarmusch's COFFEE AND CIGARETTES at the Academy Twin. See? See? Evil!!

:: ok, ok! i'll write again :: 05.08.04
you see i didn't realise that it meant something to anyone. i didn't realise that people actually read this little old blog. seems they / you do. so ok, when a an insightful gem pops into this cloudy little head of mine i'll be sure to share it with you all. in the meantime, i've updated the links to the left to keep you amused. oh, and anyone got any suggestions on how a neat-freak girl like me can stay sane when she lives with three boys and a dog? :( perhaps i should re-read my TIPS.

:: hmmmm... :: 21.04.2004
dunno if i can be bothered with this any more. i like to have secrets now :)
and i really don't think i'm much of a nanna anymore.
i mean, i still like crafty stuff, and in fact am half way through knitting a very cool scarf AND about to embark on an era of screen printing, but i don't think i need to tell everyone any more.
ohmigod. maybe i have grown up. is that dull??

:: too much to do :: 15.04.2004
since being here i've only managed to see the breeders at slim's. yep, pretty damn hopeless... BUT in the next few weeks i am going to belle and sebastian, the shins, death cab for cutie, pinback, broken social scene, m. ward + my morning jacket, i could go to cat power... but... also could've gone to stereolab but i said no as i figured i'd seen 'em not that long ago. this may have been a sily move as i hear they were tops.
There's a bunch of us going to The Shins and Miss A reckons she's going to pash the drummer. I am avoiding boys in bands :)
So in other news my friend' spent about four hours in hospital on Monday on a drip... You see, after saturday's vinyl purchases we then went to a bar at around 6.30pm. we had a few drinks, then a few more, failed to eat dinner, my workmates came and met us and we had a few more, we drove home (well, my sober workmate drove home) and then I felt a little queasy (shall we say) and then he couldn''t get the van door open, and I was yelling (ahh geeze I am mean), and then he finally did get it open he fell out of the van. he got a SMALL cut on his wrist. two days later he had a lymph infection, his arm is red and swollen, he has had a drip, tetanus needle and is on painkillers and antibiotics.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT for being impatient.
I feel SOOOO BAD !!!!

:: my how things change :: 12.04.04
geeze it's been ages since i wrote anything on here. i guess it's because everything has changed so much. i don't cook anywhere near as much as i once did (and i really miss it), i haven't had a fixed adress for more that a few weeks at a time since november least year and i am now on the other side of the world.
that said, i bought knitting needles and wool for the first time in almost six months last week from a store in the Castro district here - and started knitting a grey and red stripey scarf to fend off this super chilly san francsico weather. but ever since a rather cute 'friend' of mine arrived in town last week i haven't done much knitting.
the tucker bs were here not long ago - it was much fun having them in town. felt pretty tough playing tour guide to rock stars. just before that miss ally and miss sam were here. unfortunately for them this was in my first week here and i was jet lagged, in shock about new job stress levels and feeling generally spacey. ah well...
so, spent saturday afternoon with aforementioned 'friend' at amoeba records and managed to convince ourselves that we really HAD to buy 18 records for back-cataloging purposes. it was a very important (US$ 250) investment. you really can't buy those albums at as easily or cheaply at home, really, you can't. on sunday we borrowed the cheesy dodge van we use for work headed south from SF to half moon bay and a little pub on the coast (perched on the cliff) that had lounges in the beer garden and nanna rugs to keep warm. had a tasty hot chocolate (was feeling fragile from saturday evening cocktails on an empty stomach accompanied by the flu). got back to SF in the evening, boy cooked dinner (he's a damn fine cook, think i should retire...) and watched pretty in pink. you know, it still baffles me why she didn't choose duckie.

:: yeah, um... :: 11.02.2004
yeah, so i'm not really very good at blogging anymore. too busy...

sorted:
work visa
accommodation
flights

in denial about:
packing house
leaving friends
how much money i'll spend (as opposed to save)

:: who would've thought :: 29.01.2004
so yeah, i am moving to san fran in a few weeks and will be back in just over a year's time. i'll be working on a show called mythbusters as the production coordinator and no doubt will be having a super busy, stressful but amazing time. and yeah there's also the whole thing about being paid and having your expenses covered. kinda handy. and this is such perfect timing. i was wondering what i was going to do with my life now and who i wanted to be. i wasn't sure how i was going to find the answers but i guess the answers come when you stop looking for them. i've always wanted to work overseas, have always wanted to live in my own apartment. and now i will. geeze, someone punch me and tell me to wake up.
in light of these changes, i feel that this little nannafee blog needs a make-over. something a bit spunkier (note to fab web designer: i love what you've done, but i'm just not the same girl anymore! i'm thinking it needs a bit more red.)
hmm, you know that feeling when you're blissfully happy and everything is right? yeah well that's how i feel. i don't think i have ever felt more like me.

:: recipes + tips :: 16.01.2004
Yeah, ok so I have been really slack with the recipes and tips...
In other news, yours truly [NannaFee] is going to have an advice column on a new music website. Just call me Carrie.

:: going it alone :: 09.01.2004
I was recently discussing an impending trip with a friend who is leaving the country for the first time by himself. He's meeting up with friends along the way, but will have intervals when it's just him.
Being periodically alone when travelling is an amazing feeling even though my only experience of it was a few weeks a year or so ago after being in Cannes for the film festival. I'd previously been to Europe in ‘97 for six months and lived in London for three of those six months. Then there was a family holiday to Hawaii in ’91 but let’s not discuss that…(at height of goth phase and beaches just aren't fun when all you want to do is wear black and sit in your bedroom and mope). There had also been a trip to NZ when I was a kid but that doesn’t really count.
Anyway, this may sound kinda odd, but it made me remember that feeling you get in your gut, when you leave your friends/family at the departure gate in Sydney and board an international flight alone. It’s like butterflies and fear but at the same time a total sense of calm. And it’s compounded when you get off at Heathrow and make your way through the terminal for your connecting flight. I can’t explain it. Just a sense that you are exactly who you need to be. You’re surviving perfectly well and you realise that in that moment you don’t need anyone else. I probably sound like a dirty great hippy, but...
It goes without saying that when you're travelling you have the most amazing times of your life. The funny thing is, the moments that pop back into your mind years later aren’t of being up the Eiffel Tower or throwing coins into the damn Trevi Fountain. It’s sitting on the banks of the Seine River at dusk, with a group of people you met that day, drinking cheap wine and eating cheese and bread and crapping on about your lives and what you hope they turn out to be. Without realising that right then and there is one of the most beautiful, yet simple, things you'll ever do.
And it’s because of this, because I haven’t had the chance to travel alone for a long period of time, that I really feel like I need to get away for a while.

:: ick, the real world again :: 05.01.2004
It's very strange to be back in an office. And it is very hard to type!! After weeks of sun and shandies, and way too much christmas ham, to be in this stark space seems very odd. [admittedly, I did bring my new bathers to work with the intention of heading to the beach on my lunch break]. It's a cliche to ask, but why do we spend so much of our time in these ugly spaces in front of computer screens?
Have moved house and it is VERY SMALL but very light and airy. My room is tiny and only just fits my huge bed. Had slight tragedy whilst moving house as the power cord from my sewing machine has gone missing! What's a girl to do??
Anyway... my brain is not functioning and I cannot think of anything enlightening to say, so I guess I will list my New Year's Resolutions:
1. stop cutting my own hair
2. get minimum of 8 hours sleep each night
3. stop drinking shandies on a daily basis
4. exercise (like that's going to happen...)
5. eat more vegies
6. save money
7. get out of the country

:: All I want for Christmas :: 19.12.2003
a new toy

:: work christmas parties :: 17.12.2003
So, if your work Christmas PICNIC began at 2pm as a civilised affair in Rushcutters Bay, is it tragic to finally get to bed at 4am? With four workmates sleeping over? After dancing in your loungeroom to loud music that no doubt annoyed your neighbours no end? Hmm, the silly season is indeed upon us.

:: food + home (the good stuff) :: 11.12.2003
Made an ok spinach/pinenut/cheesy ravioli last night. It was my first attempt at something new in a while (on the odd occasion i have cooked it's been a roast up of whatever's in the fridge, with loads of roast garlic, naturally). Last night I was ably assisted by one Mr O who prepeared a tasty sage butter sauce (with sage from his, well Miss L's, garden *). It worked quite well, although it just didn't look like Jamie's.
In rather exciting news, in the days just after Christmas I will be moving into a little house in Balmain with Miss T. She described it as: "a cute little one in a good quiet area. It is very clean and freshly painted, nice floor boards, courtyard and very light. The bathroom is nice and light and big and has a bath! It has an open kitchen and little dining area that looks onto a little courtyard." YAY. So nice to know this is sorted. And it has a BATH. mmmm.
ps. craft just ain't happening. got the fabric, but simply don't have the time.

* Creative Director's note: Contrary to popular belief, Mr O does in fact do all the work in the garden :)

:: the truth :: 08.12.2003
One of the worst things another person can do to you is lie. To look you in the eye and swear they are telling you the truth when they are not. Sometimes they do it as they believe they are protecting you. But, as the saying goes, the truth always catches up with you. You can avoid it, you can pretend that no-one will find out, but they do.
It's horrible when you base your feelings on what you believed to be facts - then find out that they are not. In fact, it hurts more than being told the cold hard truth in the first place. It may feel like a huge slap in the face, but at least it was all there, out in the open to begin with and you can pick yourself up and get on with things. It's horrible when the truth comes in waves, week after week, and keeps knocking you back to the ground, just when you thought you could begin to feel whole again.

:: on second thought :: 04.12.2003
I'd just like to say that I reckon Sandpit are one of the best bands ever. I've had them on high rotation of late (for obvious reasons). Talk about accurately capturing a set of raw emotions. If only they were still around... such a shame.
I've been working my way through the standard set of to-do's for a lass in my current situation. I have two new pairs of shoes, a new haircut (started at home and, ok, i admit, finished by a hairdresser the next day), a few new tops, some new music on vinyl (i'm not allowed to buy cd's anymore i've been told) and haven't eaten a proper meal in a month. Hope I can remember how to cook when my appetite returns.

:: summer rain :: 24.11.2003
What's with these bruises on my knees from dancing to Belinda Carlisle?
And what's with the weather? Can't believe I needed flannie PJs and a doona last night and it's late November. Not that I'm complaining as I'm not the biggest fan of summer. Humidity is just plain wrong. You can't knit in summer and baking tasty treats just ain't that pleasant on a 40 degree day.

:: crafty girl:: 17.11.2003
Over the last week or two I've been indulging in quite a few crafty pursuits. I've not had much of an appetite of late and therefore my favourite hobby of cooking / baking is kinda pointless. So there are a few paintings on the boil (one of them i love, the other i'm really not so sure of but heck one can always paint over it) and I FINALLY finished an apron style top that I started weeks ago. I wore it out last night and received quite a lot of postive feedback and even a request by Miss S for one of her own. I also have an order in from young Master B for a stachel (he revealed that he had been attempting to use the small bag I'd made for his missus, but it just wasn't cutting it for a boy of his stature). You know, I've said it before, I really should get cracking on my sewing machine and build up a stockpile of nannafee items and hit the markets. hmm, I think it's about time that happened. No more procrastinating!
Had a fab evening on Friday night at the gorgeous new house of J + D (nb: empty toilet rolls belong in the bin not on the floor, boys!). You should see that place - big open plan lounge / kitchen with lots of light and oh so cool industrial staircase leading to lofty bedrooms. And as for the bath! (so big you feel as though you should bring your togs and kickboard) Soooo jealous. We cooked up a storm, drank a few too many glasses of tasty posh red wine and ate chocolate espresso cake at midnight. Mmmmm, friends rock!

:: no wilting flower :: 10.11.2003
There are times in your life when you are blissfully cruising along and out of nowhere something happens that throws everything into chaos. You didn't see it coming and at first the shock is so overwhelming you wonder if you will ever remember who you are, let alone continue on successfully in any direction. Then the love of your family and friends fills you with a strength you never knew you had. It creeps on in and before you know it a smile re-visits your face and you remember how to laugh. You look at your life and realise just how amazing it is. You have your health, you have love and you have the sunshine. And dammit, no-one can take that away.

:: four eyes no more :: 30.10.2003
I went to the optometrist last week and got myself contact lenses. So far it hasn't been too difficult - some mornings I can get the suckers in really easily and my eyes only take a minute or so to recover from feeling as though I have filled them with tabasco sauce. Other mornings, it takes multiple attempts (i'm talking 20 or more) and I almost want to throw them out and not bother. They pop inside out, or go half in and squish when I blink or fall off my finger and I have to re-clean them and so on... But once they're in it's not so bad. Sometimes they move around my eye and one goes out of focus, so I sit at my desk at work and scrunch my face up and blink to make them return to their proper place. I'm sure this looks highly attractive to my workmates. I think I'll still wear my glasses to work and of an evening at home but I got really sick of having to wear glasses all the time - it wasn't an option to simply not wear them as my eyesight is so dodgy that I can't go without them.
And besides, with the festive season fast approaching, and a chicks night this weekend and a wedding the one after (for which a purchased the cutest strapless frock for a mere ) it was perfect timing to rid myself of full time four eyes.

:: hmm, what next? 27.10.2003
Time is almost up for me here at good ol' noise. It's been a crazy year or so, and I've learnt sooooo much (and have wrinkles around my eyes to prove it). So with my contract coming to an end mid-December I need to figure out what to do next. Do I jump straight into another full-time job (that's if I can find one) or do i take time off from this crazy Monday to Friday, 9 - 6pm lifestyle?? Do I get a part-time job and try to find a niche to exploit in the craft market? Or is that a toally stupid idea? I mean, how many novelty hand-sewn handbags and cushion covers does the world need?
career path suggestions via my guestbook would be most appreciated. And if anyone knows of any jobs for a lass (ok, nanna) like me...

:: ahh technology :: 24.10.2003
Something weird happened at pitas.com where nannafee is hosted. I started to read the explanation but the techie speak started to get dull, my eyes glazed over and I didn't actually absorb any of what I was reading. Basically, my last entry and updates to the links over there on the left have been lost. This is a bit of a shame because it takes me a while to update the link stuff. I think in my last entry I had been going on about making this dress.

:: phew, almost over :: 03.10.2003
just got back from melbourne where we had the noise launch. am quite relived that this is now over as life has been rather hellish!!! long days, too much stress and feeling permanently cranky. not a nice way to be. the launch went well, but the best part was, of course, the shopping.
bought some super cute shoes - lime green sude slipper type things, with buttons stitched on them. they are rather unique and i was very happy about this purchase. of course i bought a few novelty hair elastics and super cute hair clips.
had breakfast with Miss L and Miss A, my co-workers, yesterday morning before flying home. Miss A's french toast was very tasty and i was miffed that i changed my order from this to poached eggs on toast at the last minute. i soooo wish sydney was as nice as melbourne. i love being in a place that has little laneways filled with unique shops that stock interesting shoes + clothes + bags + music + so on. not just a sea of dangerfield stores... and as for the bars in melbourne, why doesn't sydney have anything like them?? yeah yeah, there's the old "licensing laws" story and the "high rent" story, but COME ON.. surely there are enough of us that think bars with no warmth or atmosphere [that have polished concrete minimalist decor and are filled with vacant waifs] are unappealing!

:: oops, been a while :: 19.09.2003
yeah, just realised that it's been ages since on got on here and crapped on about nothing in particular. and i DO need to update the recipe of the week. Scads' eggs and mushrooms have been on there for ages.
so the Boy came back from Chicago and damn it's been nice to be able to get those jars open! hee hee. but seriously, it's soooo nice to have him home. apparently the coffe in the US is appalliing, the food is over-sized and dripping with fat or full of sugar. the poor lad couldn't even get a simple ol' salad sandwich. i think he's the only person who ahs ever visited the US and gotten skinny!!
ooh, we're moving hosue this weekend. should be an event and a half. we have sooo much STUFF. i have managed to throw out some of it (like a box of books that neither of us remember acquiring - books that don't have names in the front of them so don't fret, we haven't thrown out anything on loan from friends). my folks are coming to help us move as are a bunch of friends. very sweet of them. Miss P and I are going to make a fancy lunch to say thanks. it'll be nice to have a new sunny house to live in that has a grassy yard. little theo the wonderdog is going to be very chuffed.
BUT THE MOST EXCITING NEWS of all is that Miss-M n Cakee are here!! woo hoo! how very cool. they're going to come and stay at our new place later next week. and it's Jake's 30th b'day this Saturday night so without a doubt it is going to be a big evening. then we'll finish moving house the next day... goodness.

:: three more sleeps :: 04.09.2003
Yep, three more sleeps till the Boy gets back from NY. YAY. funny thing is, i had grand plans of all the things i'd do when he was away - get the car serviced, go for a walk every morning before work (only went four times), visit my folks (ie. get out of the stinky city), visit friends for dinner and have them over for dinner - and i've barely done any of it. But i have managed to stop eating so much sugary and floury food and increase my intake of vegies and fruit (and feeling better for it), work my butt off at day job (hmm, good thing??), have two knitting projects underway, one sewing and one PAINTING project happening (thanks Miss P for getting me motivated) and on top of all this, end the lease on one house and start one on a new house. so it's not like i've been moping around aimlessly. heck. i need a holiday.
In futher developments my brother and his missus are having a baby next march (better not be the 5th ! hee hee). i'm a bit excited about being an aunty (although i am "aunty fee" to Little-O, bless him) AND Miss Lizey and Mr-N are having a little one around the same time.
well, i'd better stop writing and shut down this ol' computer. the chicks from work and i are about to head off for the day and go to ikea - there's a new catalogue out and we're all inspired to get cool shower curtains and kitchen accessories. and as for that dark green corduroy three seater lounge that's in the first few pages, mmmm. ikea rocks.

:: another litte one arrives :: 28.08.2003
congratulations to nanna-d and her fella chris on the arrival of their little boy Ruben. can't wait to meet him. and yeah, thanks nanna-d for almost making me cry at work with your story about the baby gazing / smiling in wonder at maria callas on the stereo !! (thanks for the reminder mitt - see guestbook).

:: the aftermath :: 25.08.2003
there was an office disco on friday night. i stuck around till around 7.30 as i wasn't feeling all that cheery after a stressful week at work and all the hassle with the real estate. and to be totally honest, i am a bit of a nanna these days and i knew that the black cloud over my head would only ruin it for everyone... ANYWAY, when i left it was already "getting interesting". now it's monday morning and word around the office is that the photocopier should be feeling violated, YMCA will never be thought of in the same way and that it's not a good idea to drink comopolitans that are 80% vodka + cointreau, 20% cranberry straight from the jug. SCARY!! to think i was at home having a bath, some dinner, a cup of tea, watching a video and wishing that my spunky Boy was here. damn i'm getting old.

:: grrr, cranky :: 22.08.2003
i am sooo annoyed. what is it with real estate agents and being totally rude and pushy? you see, i got a call late last week from our real estate agent. she said to me, "the owner is in town and he hasn't seen the house for a few years and he'd like to drop in, is this ok? can we arrange a time one day? " so i say, "yeah well, i am very busy at work so i am not able to do this and my husband is overseas"... but heck, they don't care, they just say, "we have a key so we can use this is if it ok with you". well, what am i supposed to say, they are only going to get annoyed and keep calling about a time to come over if i say no. so they come over when i am not there and a few days later i get another call from them, "the owner has decided to sell.. blah blah, it will probably go to an investor so you won't need to move". YEAH RIGHT, heard that one before! so now we have an open house at our place this weekend. i am SOOOO annoyed as i was supposed to go to my folk's place this weekend - you know, get out of the city, visit my dad for his b'day. so when i explained that this weekend was not convenient, the patronising real estate chick said in her phoney 'sydney accent', "that's ok i will be there and we frisk everyone on their way out, ha ha!" whatever!! i am not letting a bunch of strangers wander through my home when i am not there. she advised me to pack away my valuables (in all that spare time i have). this is all so annoying. we had been thinking of moving anyway (2 years without a laundry starts do to your head in) but being forced to do this at this point in time is awful. and i know that i now have to have a succession of saturdays stuck at home while young hopefuls with huge mortgages wander through the house and walk mud on the clean floors and bitch about our furniture! oh, and did i mention the real estate's comment on "how lovely you made the house look". IT ALWAYS LOOKS LOVELY LADY!!! as if i would go to special effort for the real estate... gggrrrrrr

:: dreaming :: 19.08.2003
I want one of these in blue!!

:: there’s a doof in reception :: 15.08.2003
there aren't many workplaces that have a smoke machine and disco lights in the reception area. mine is one that does. right now, it's smokey and lights are flickering like it's 3am. it's 5pm. if i were asthmatic or epileptic i'd not be feeling the best right now. ahh the youth of today, they're a crazy mob. i feel sorry for wookie, the office dog. poor little thing must be wondering what's going on.
the Boy has been in chicago for almost a week. (yes, the NY blackout today has spooked me a bit...). word on the email is that the recording is sounding mighty fine and the exhaustion is worth it. yay...so happy. personally, i am looking forward to having a friday night at home because for someone whose fella (+ best mate + social outings companion) has left the country for a month, i am certainly one busy lass. on sunday night i went and saw lost in la mancha with joel (who before the film cooked a fine dinner of roast vegies and garlic with pine nuts, spinach and feta that was then tossed through pasta, mmm yum). monday night was of course stay at home, knit and watch secret life of us night (quite a ritual that i loathe missing). tuesday night i worked back, did a food shop, came home, ate and went to bed as i was soooo tired. wednesday I hosted stitch n bitch (what a fine evening!! although i did instruct Miss S to slice up waaaay to much eggplant that resulted in a HUGE pot of moroccan spiced vegies - way to much for my fellow knitters...).
Last night (thursday) i went to the Drama Theatre at the Opera House and saw Proof with jacqueline mckenzie and barry otto. my companion and i quite enjoyed getting a bit of kulcha (it was with joel again, the poor bugger is getting stuck hanging out with his mate's wife..). however, upon arrival we were harassed by an old chap who asked us to put our backpacks in the cloak room (fair enough) but he then followed us the whole way there to make sure we did it. i mean, just because we were wearing beanies and scarves and looking generally scruffy doesn't mean we were up to no good. we were simply enjoying a glass of wine before the theatre and giggling about the sea of oldies wearing black skivvies and black pants, or shawls, clip on chunky gold earrings and pearls. although it was nice to see quite a few young folk there (a school group and numerous arty chicks with their tall pasty boyfriends/gay best friends).
As for a citique of the performance, joel and i did feel that the opening scene was a bit rushed/forced, and that the interaction between the girl and her loony mathematician father lost it's impact due to this. and fake american accents suck!! ok, so it's set in chicago and has references to new york blah blah blah so therefore it would sound odd in australian accents, but i do find myself constantly being distracted by the fake accents. anyway, regardless of this i highly recommend going to see it. i laughed, i got teary and that's what is important. it's only on for another week I think so go now.

:: ahh! too much to do!:: 05.08.2003
goodness! i must say i'm feeling a little stressed. it's 6.45pm, I'm still at work. and will be for a few hours yet. too many artist bio's to compile, make pretty and send to the printers! and that's just the tip of the iceberg - don't get me started on the festival program, keeping track of the designing/printing of publicity bits, writing a zillion media releases and info sheets, re-doing a 'shamless self promtion kit' (so that the young artists out there know how to deal with the media) and on and on and on... phew. i need a cup of tea and a lie down.
Favourite Boy leaves this Sunday for the US of A and our evenings are full between now and then. don't get me wrong, i'm more than stoked to have Miss L and Mr P over for a fancy Indian dinner tomorrow night (and receive a bonus photography lesson so that the Boy knows how to use the Cannon when he's away), and I guess band praccie will be a good thing on Thursday evening and for 8 hours on Saturday (heck, when you're spending $$$ on a fancy recoding you'd wnat to sound GOOD) and I'm super keen to see Miss P, Mr Foz and Little-O on Friday night (with the added bonuse of the Boy being able to do some mysterious techincal loop thing on a guitar pedal in preparation for o/s recording). AND I'm quite excited about seeing Interpol on Saturday night (what AM I going to wear?) - BUT HECK - when do we get to hang out??? Maybe sometime in September? the rock lifestyle is killing me and it hasn't even started!! ;-)

:: ooh look, it's all new and pretty :: 30.07.2003
Big thanks to Ottez (see link to the left) for the super upgrade of this here blog. What a splendid chap! I'm so chuffed - I think I owe he and Miss L a big baked dinner one Sunday soon. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
Am just about to head off to Miss S's for a stitch 'n' bitch night (or, as it should probably be called, 'one row of knitting followed by turkish pizza, coffee and chatting about boys' night). I often feel like the odd one out at these events as the other girls frequently lament the lack of nice, sane, straight, single men in this city. You see, I myself snagged the perfect lad when only 20 and have kept him keen on me ever since - must be all those treats I bake him ;-). So, yeah, I don't have much to add to the conversation except, "I know lots of cute single guys" and "yes, they are sane, can cook and do have jobs/aspirations/are creative and are real sweethearts". But I would feel too daggy to set them up on a date, as let's face it, I am as subtle as a brick at times. So, yeah, if there are any boys out there who fit the abovementioned description, do you wanna come and knit with a bunch of spunky chicks (myself excluded, naturally)? it won't be a set-up, just a coincidence that you turned up at our place that night...

::home alone:: 28.07.2003
My Favourite Boy is heading off to Chicago soon to record stuff with his band. This is very exicting and I am very chuffed about it all. However, this raises the issue for me of being home alone. Now, I'm not talking about spending time on one's own of an evening after work or during the day on weekends (this is an excellent and productive time for craft + cooking food to pack into individual serves to freeze for lunches, after all). Nope, I'm talking about those hours between midnight and 8am. About those creepy noises that wake you up in the middle of the night. About feeling as though you should lock the windows and deadlock the backdoor. And let the dog sleep inside, even though he consistently defies you and STILL sneakily sleeps on the lounge. (I go through pet-hair removing sticky rollers far too quickly). I may sound like a total wuss-bag but I just don't like it. If the Boy is at home I go to sleep really quickly. Sometimes far too quickly for his liking...hee hee :-) I guess I need to get it through my head that I'm fine and Theo the Wonderdog will alert me to any unsavoury types trying to intrude on our little home. It's plain silly that this irrational fear of the dark still gets to me. Kinda like my fear of straws in drinks pointing at my face (but that's another therapy session entirely). Although, I guess I was a kid who insisted on falling to sleep with the bathroom light on for far too many years... girl's blouse.

::international delicacies:: 21.07.2003
Went to a fab cocktail party / kitchen warming at Pete and Lara's on the weekend. It was a splendid affair and there were even a few seconds of dancing when the Stone Roses classic, Fools Gold, hit the stereo. At one stage we managed to fit around 6 people in their kitchen that was previously was a solo-chef space. There was the usual cocktail party food - spinach and cheese triangles, mini sausage rolls etc. I made a highly attractive, very 80s suburbia, cob roll stuffed with spinachy cheesy packet soup mix dip thing. (if anyone knows the official name of this can you pls tell me??). I'd taken it along and put it in the oven to get it warm and the bread crunchy.
It's at this stage that I need to introduce some of the other guests at the party. Lara has a Japanese friend who had brought along half a dozen of his mates who haven't been in Australia that long and spoke various amounts of English (ie. not much, but heck I can't speak Japanese). One of them was Yoshi (a.k.a "I'm Pissed") - the head chef at Raw Bar in Bondi. Obviously this boy knows about good food.
Anyway, as I pulled it out of the oven, the Japanese folk gathered around and a ripple of excitement went through the group. During some mutterings among them, I transferred the dish to an appropriate serving platter (thanks Mel and Jake). As I presented it to them I let them know that this was a "traditional Australian dish". They all seemed highly impressed. Each of them grabbed a piece of bread and dipped into the warm cheesy gooey mixture, shoved it in their mouths and exclaimed "whoar, ooh ooh, ha ha ha" whilst waving their arms around with glee. I guess they liked it. Can't say I've ever seen anyone get that excited about bread and runny cheese. Hilarious. They even wanted to know how to make it...

:: new nannas :: 11.07.2003
having breakfast tomorrow in glebe with some newly outed Nannas who are keen to re-learn those knitting skills they were taught as young girls. hope i'm good enough!! the plan is to have breakfast (11.30, we don't want to get up too early on a Saturday) and then head to the markets to buy wool from a chick there who dyes and spins wool from her very own sheep (now that IS cool). Then we'll head to a park to get knitting. I have only communicated via email with two of the new Nannas so it will be weird to actually meet them.
in other news, i'm trying to eat a variety of grains, more vegies + fruit and less (evil) white flour and spuds. the Boy keeps on laughing at me and my low-GI obsession - i guess he was there for the "no carbs after lunch" phase (lasted about 3 days) and the "i'm going jogging at 7am everyday" phase (happened once, my excuse being that it's too cold and, besides, there is a spunky boy in my bed to snuggle up to). ah well, maybe i can stick to this new approach to eating (not a diet!) regime. i have to say that the porrige i'm eating as i write this (made with old fashioned oats, no-fat milk and unsweetened apple sauce) is REALLY yummy. and i still have half a bowl left and can't fit it in...

:: home, sweet home:: 01.07.2003
feeling like a domestic goddess (all hail Nigella) is something we girls (and boys) should be not afraid of. i'm by no means a downtrodden, taken-for-granted girl. goodness, no. i just like my/our home to be a 'bubble'. a place where i can retreat to and hide in at the end of a day. it's the opposite of being stuck in a crowded office with meetings, emails, phone calls and deadlines (goodness, that sounds so grown-up). i can selfishly head straight into the kitchen and arm myself with a sharp knife and some ingredients on which i can take out any stess (NB: carrots and potatoes are good for chopping when one needs to vent, just watch your fingers). and besides, it's a practical passion. we all know that very little beats a home cooked meal eaten in front of the heater whilst wearing your pyjamas. try the soup recipe over there -> (unless you're vego) this weekend and spend a night in!! i think the recipe is originally from a cookbook my Mum has from the playgroup (ie. pre-preschool) my brother and i went in the 70s. nice.
sewing update:: i had planned on spending last weekend making a whole bunch of new bags. but alas, a rowdy saturday afternoon harbour cruise put an end to that. so, once i get it together and get that happening, i'm going to get an upgrade on this little ol' site/blog. stay tuned!!

:: rest easy ::18.06.2003
this weekend i'm going to the Blue Mountains with my Favourite Boy as we have been married for two years! we are NOT going to a pub, nor are we going to see any bands. nope, not one. this isn't to say i dislike the whole band thing - it's just that sometimes this girl needs a break from it. and after the past week and a half of rock-lifestyle, i really need it (and to go to bed before 4.30am). we are going to go to craft shops, buy locally made jam and SLEEP IN. we're even booked in for a massage each. saturday night will be spent in the company of Miss K and her fella, the lovely Damo. word on the street is that Osso Bucco is on the menu - YUM (apologies to any vegetarians who are now feeling ill at the thought of a meaty stew). naturally we'll be providing some robust red wine to accompany. little Theo the Wonderdog will also be making the trip and having sleep-overs with their little doggies Ember and Azuki.
i must admit though, that i did take last saturday night off to stay at home and sew. i made a totally cute bag for Miss Jen (who was staying at our place). i'm so impressed by it that i'll be investing in some more felt and making a whole bunch of them to be sold in Ange's shop on Darby Street. nice. i'm sure retiring from office work and taking over the world with my nanna fee accessories and bedwear empire is just around the corner...ahh, the glorious 'intersection of art + commerce'.

:: basic pleasantries :: 02.06.2003
i noticed something on a recent outing that bothered me enough to think about it in the middle of the night. (you know, when you wake up at 3am and you get on some thought tangent and lie there for ages thinking it over and over and wishing your brain would just stop and let you go back to sleep??) anyway, enough about my odd behavior... what i noticed was that people these days (or maybe it's in this city?) don't seem to look the 'service person' who they are purchasing items from in the eye and say please or thanks or even SMILE. i mean really, how hard is it to be pleasant to the people we encounter, even if they're strangers? we all know that it's really nice when someone smiles at you. we've all been (or still are) macca's/checkout chicks and know what it's like when people treat you as though you're an idiot because they make assumptions about who you are. for a lot of people their job is a means to an end - it gives them cash to survive, isn't too taxing on the brain and this allows them to focus their energy on their 'real' life (like being an actor or writer or rock star, ha ha ha). or maybe it was their life's ambition to sell hamburgers...whatever. the point is, i reckon that we all should make the effort to smile and say please and thanks a little more. it's really not that hard to be pleasant!!

:: bags + singlets :: 29.05.03
so it's been a while (AGAIN). ventured to Champion Textiles on King Street last weekend with Miss P and Little-O (who slept soundly). bought some mixed-shades-of-purple cotton to re-start the scarf for Little Imogen. yes, i had stared with different wool but was unhappy with the results - it was looking a little dull...this one looks very fancy indeed. anyway, had a lovely time at Master Scaddans b'day on Saturday night. finished my new red scarf just in time to be able to wear it and tell EVERYONE that "i've just finished this". heee heee! going to folk's on weekend as we haven't seen them in AGES. we're then newcastle on sunday as the Boy is singing songs at some coffee festival thing. hope you get free flat whites. am thinking that i should get it together and start making a lot of bags and things and have a go at selling some. maybe make a few big loopy scarves in bright colours as well. and dress up some singlets for wearing to bed in summer-time (who really wears proper pj's all year 'round?) hmm, now there's an idea. have to get myself to the bonds factory.

:: Knit one, Purl one :: 14.05.2003
as we're being forced to stay indoors because of the rainy weather we're having, why not take the time to make yourself a nice scarf? i went to tapestry craft (32 york street, sydney) on monday in my lunch break and was chuffed to see that it was packed - and it was mostly sprightly young lasses! ok, there were a few REAL nannas looking rather miffed that their territory was being encroached upon by 'youngsters'. i was rather amused to hear one of the women who works there talking about the book on knitting in which yours truly managed to take up a page of!! heee heee! i bought some 9mm wooden needles for a few big loopy scarves i'm going to make (one in pink, one in red) and some nice (fake) tortoiseshell ones (7mm) because i really wanted them. they have some really beautiful wool. if you go to tapestry craft and hang around near the wool section for long enough, you'll pick up a few tips on how you can easily make the sample scarves and shawls they have draped around the place. it all sounded really easy and i'm rather inspired to make something more adventurous than a knit-stitch only scarf....
oh, and don't forget to check out the links over on the left for some more craft ideas to keep you amused when it's cold and wet.

:: in print :: 5.04.03
i'm pleased to announce that this little nanna is in a book about knitting! i'm serious. it's called it's my party and it'll knit if i want to. i saw the book whilst shopping with my very spunky Boy for a b'day present for Master Joel. i hadn't thought much more about the interview that took place mid-last year with the author. too funny! if you see it in a bookshop turn to page 78 and there we are: miss kirsten, rebecca, sally, tania and i. i must admit that i was also quite chuffed to see a section on kelley deal (the breeders, see also her website link over to the left). naturally i'm rather happy about this. however, i'm beginning to feel that my reputation as a craft guru far exceeds my abilities at this stage. ahh well... in further knitting news, i'm currently making a scarf for young Miss Im who is all of 20 months old. i think she'll look rather fetching in it. naturally it is pink. speaking of fetching, ventured to an '80s hair metal' fancy dress party on saturday night - my favourite Boy was looking a real treat in faux snakeskin pants, a cropped black muscle shirt and a stone-washed bedazzled denim jacket that had snakeskin panels in the front and back. nice. i was wearing a torn black velvet and emerald green dress complete with big hair and a black velvet bow clip. heaps pretty. i'd like to say a special hello to niamh and her mates in ireland - yep, nannafee has had international visitors. sooo global. so modern!

:: desperately seeking intervention :: 29.04.03
hmm, sorry, it's been a while since i updated this. oops, must stay keen!!! i took the days off between easter and anzac day and spent most of my time sewing and knitting. yeah, i know, should have gone to the Easter Show and gotten inspired by the crafts, but it was raining! Miss P and i ventured to spotlight and i went a little nuts in the bargain bin (but hey, worth of fabric has made two skirts, a hot water bottle cover - yes, it's true i have a hot water bottle - and two cushions and there's still some left over). Little O got a bit cranky after half an hour of fluro lights and excessive colour in the kids fabric section - you can't fool that boy, he knew where he was - so we made a quick exit. this was probably a good thing, who knows what we may have purchased had we stayed longer. i realised that maybe i had gone too far with my laura ashley inspired cushion covering when the Boy came home, and after a few minutes silence asked if he was going to be subjected to a life of cushion arranging (ie. 'look, cushion number 27 hasn't been put in its proper place on the bed'). He also wondered if there would soon be little space left on the lounge to actually SIT on it. oops. A Miss I is coming over tonight so that we can figure out how to 'purl'. yes, shock, horror - this nanna can only cast on and off and do 'knit' stitch. hence the multitude of scarves that i own...

:: thrifty ::14.3.03
i started knitting again yesterday (first time this 'winter'). my fella was doing his usual lock himself in the spare room for hours on end doing a demo routine. walking past the partly open door looking bored and suggestions of a nice sunday afternoon film weren't working. i'd already obsessively cleaned the espresso machine with stainless steel cleaner (and rung the sister-in-law to tell her about it) and with guests coming over at some stage i couldn't really go visiting for the afternoon. and i'd spent saturday sewing (taking up too-long pants, more later) so that wasn't an option. so in desperation i found some pink and purple wool and started a stripey scarf. sadly, it looks hideous. i thought it was a good idea and a way of getting rid of 'leftovers' but i was WRONG. hmm... bought two pairs of winter pants from k-mart. yes, k-mart. these are the ones i was shortening yesterday. (i am an oompa loompa after-all). one pair are cords and are super cute (), and the others are chocolate brown cargo pants (). miss lara promptly informed me that she had seen the exact same pair (fabric, style and all) in General Pants for 0. it pays to be a nanna!!

:: very chuffed indeed ::11.4.03
well i must say. i'm feeling like a popular little ol' nanna at the moment. there are quite a few entries on my guestbook, and TWO requests for the famed banana cake recipe. it's sooo simple, yet delicious. you all must make one for afternoon tea this weekend. it's best if you eat some on the day it's made as the top is crunchy and the centre is nice and soft! mmmm, i wish i had some here now... here's another tip: when you have a few bananas in your fruitbowl that aren't looking all that appealing anymore (or as my fella likes to say "are covered in bronwyns" - bronwyns means bruises) pop them in the freezer. the outsides will go black but inside they're still perfectly fine for baking once defrosted (make sure you defrost them in the sink as they go a little bit runny). they're also quite a treat left frozen and whizzed up with milk for a banana milkshake. but a word of warning, don't end up with a freezerful of the things. my mum's freezer has around 10 frozen bananas at any given time, often waaaay back near other items that have been there since the 80s. ha ha ha! anyway... will be spending this weekend at home. i'd like to make an a-line skirt using grey wool, or maybe a tunic. they're always handy for the cooler months. and, what i'd really like to do is a bit of patchwork and make a skirt using that. maybe aunty ness can show me how?? have a pleasant weekend. xx

:: the joys of correspondence :: 7.4.2003
what a lovely surprise to see that my little ol' guestbook has been visited by a number of folk who are also in touch with their inner-nanna. bless. peter, i will endeavour to feature my chickpea and pumpkin stew recipe as my next 'recipe of the week'. and nanna dunn, glad to hear from you lovvie. please click on the gamma pie link over to the left of this page for an australian gramma pie recipe. spent the weekend moving furniture and now the home is looking very cosy. my fella and i have 'inherited' a piano and i can't wait to get on there and have a good old play. i hope i can remember those tunes i learned when i was a lass. no doubt the neighbours are going to love hearing me re-learn them. we also now have a lovely burgundy coloured lounge suite thanks to master jonty. it looks a treat in our (rather small) loungeroom. now i just have to ensure our little dog stays off it. nothing worse than pesky animal hair on the lounge and therefore on your favourite black slacks or twin-set. ooh, speaking of theodore (my mini-foxie: the ultimate nanna dog) i recently fashioned him a winter coat using some waterproof fabric for the outer layer and an old tshirt of mine for the warmer under-layer (and of coure a red felt star as a nice feature). if i may say so myself he looks just lovely in it. i'm sure he's the envy of the other dogs at the park! if anyone would like a pattern to whip one up for the hound in their life please let me know! hoo roo.

:: winter??:: 1.4.03
so, it's the first day of april and it's kinda cold - but c'mon when is the real cold weather going to begin? there's nothing like pulling on your favourite beanie and semi-matching scarf (home made, of course) before heading out for the day - all snuggly and warm - whilst your cheeks turn pink from the gusts of cold air. and quite frankly, i'm ready to see the end of summer fashion - no more not-so-flat bellies protruding from between snug hipsters and a small t-shirt. yes, i myself have fallen victim to this trend (and also do not have the flattest of stomachs) and on my recent 28th b'day i did wonder if it was time to put away my cutesy notely t's and begin wearing grown-up clothes. however, i've never been one for leather handbags and matching shoes. this may seem like an odd thing for a wanna-be nanna to say. but, embracing your innner nanna is about do-it-youself, cups of tea (made from loose leaf, naturally) and homemade tasty snacks. and knowing that those unsightly tannin stains on teaspoons and your favourite china teacups can easily be removed by rubbing them with a generous dash of salt. (no need for that harsh bleach!) but enough about that - back to my rant about the joys of winter and one if the highlights of the cooler months - winter cooking!! gourmet stews + mash (thanks nanna dunn for the cookbook), curries, roasts and all those treats that you simply can't prpepare in the summer months as it is too hot. one can't be seen to work up a sweat whilst cooking!! heaven forbid. so bring it on, i say. no more salads, give me stodge!!

:: upgrades + orange peel :: 27.3.03
my mate pete has offered to lend some assistance to make this little ol' page look a bit more *special*. give it a slightly more nanna vibe. YAY! i'm rather excited about this. there will be small additions like a tips and recipe section. have been spending my days looking at young folks sites and the amazing 'art' they're making - must say i can't complain about a day job that pays me to do this sorta stuff. there's sooo much out there. think i'll make a chocolate fridge cake on the weekend to bring to the office on monday:: broken biscuits, pecans, walnuts, pistachios smothered in chocolate fudge and shoved in the fridge for a few hours to set. you're supposed to put glace cherries in too, but they're gross. i may be a nanna but i draw the line at these things. they're up there with peel in the hideous stakes. which brings me to another thing -> there are hot cross buns in woolies that have NO PEEL! thank the good lord!

:: cooking for friends :: 21.3.03
I'm having a bunch of friends over for dinner tonight. my favourite thing to do. sadly, i have been planning this event for a week now. (i really should get out more often and stop reading cookbooks). have to admit i got the idea from nigella - roast lamb and pita bread with various treats to accompany. stared last night by coating a chunk of lamb in tahini, garlic, cumin, olive oil + pepper. Favourite Boy (FB) is on his way home now to fire up the weber (bbq) so that it has plenty of time to roast. also making tabbouleh, roasted eggplant, felafel (for my veggie friends), humous + tzaziki (hmm, spelling??). YUM! Miss P is bringing backlava for desert and, Miss L, some good old vanilla ice cream. the lads are in charge of beverages. yes, it's an old-school division of tasks (ie. food = girls, drink = boys) but i reckon that sometimes old school makes sense. (guess that's why my nickname is nanna) nothing like cooking for your mates on a friday night. yummy food, good music, a few too many wines. nice.

:: welcome :: 19.3.03
hello. welcome to my little space that no-one knows about. well, that know one knows about yet. knowing me and my inability to keep anything a secret, this space won't be just mine for long. originally NANNA was going to be a zine about all things nice and keeping things that way. but as my partner in nanna-ness and i are taking forever to meet for a pot of tea and chat, i've decided to go it alone for a while. and, my mate bobbie has encouraged me to give this internet thing a try. so far, so good. doesn't seem to scary for someone who throws a tanty when she can't get the stereo to work because Favourite Boy has re-cabled the amp/cd player/dvd/video. sooo, what do i want to tell you? what tid-bit of knowledge can i impart? ah, i know!! you can't make anzac biscuits without coconut and golden syrup. i attempted to do this last night by substituting coconut with extra rolled oats. the result was little flat 'anzac cakes'. not nice at all. hmm, i think this little space needs a recipe section. now how DO i do that?